i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
