let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
