I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
