I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
