He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
