Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
