Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
