Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
