does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize
