so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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