I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
40s are totally the cure
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
So here I am, sexting at work.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
