I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
