My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize
