That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
