Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize