Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Randomize
