I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
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