I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
