i need an iv and a liver transplant
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I have aggressive nipples.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I think we might need a safe word for this...
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
