I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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