I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
The uberlube is also flammable
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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