i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
