I am puke
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
