I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
People with herpes should wear stickers.
smell my finger.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
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