Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
