I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
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