bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
