just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
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