found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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