Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
why is half of my head shaved?
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