Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
