I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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