Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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