when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
