I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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