Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
