Soap is not a condiment
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
