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I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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