Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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