Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
