it wasn't lemon gatorade
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
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