Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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