He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
