i think i have herpe
just one?
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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