i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
