Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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