You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
wat bout pragnant strippers??
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Randomize
