hotel room ftw
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
