Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
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