roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Why are your pants in the freezer?
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
