the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
