If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
