It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
