Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I accidentally burped into my bong.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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