A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
He literally asked permission to hit on me
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
