we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize