i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
