UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
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