You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
