WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
