Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
