Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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