All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
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