we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
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