Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
