I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Buhtt sex?
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
