i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
