Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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