Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
God gave him joint rollers for hands
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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