I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
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