billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
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