The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
She needs sedatives and a leash
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Randomize
