I just threw up on my dentist
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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