is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
