Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
