Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
