i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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