I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
My liver just had a heart attack.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
