State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
it was like having sex with a tree stump
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Randomize
