rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Randomize