I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
