FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
