Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
