Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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