miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
